It's been some time since I read magazines.  I have grown out of CLEO.  I'm definitely too old for Remaja although it still makes me laugh (at it, not WITH it).  Nona, Wanita and Jelita is too mak datin for me (and doesn't really feature muslimah fashion).  So that leaves me with Dara.com and Nur.  Nur is a magazine for career muslimahs, which will be me... but since it always features articles about how to raise a family and how to... errr... please your husband, I grabbed Dara.com while sighing to my mom that I should have outgrown this magazine.  "Takpelah, anak dara lagi," my mom said.  Ya, remind me again of how my ex-schoolmates are now showing off their hubbies and babies on Friendster while a 25-year-old hairstylist kept referring to me as "Yang" because she thought I'm still "budak-budak lagi."  Ya I did rebonding ... again... and forgot how painful it was the first time so I had to grit my teeth while three women ironed my hair at the same time... again.  Next time remind me to have two paracetamols before going for another treatment.

 

---

 

I'm disappointed with what the masses selected for One in a Million.  I shouldn't say too much because I didn't watch it anyway; I went out to MidValley to watch Miami Vice instead (which caused motion-sickness for me due to the wobbly camera effect... and the fact that Colin Farrell looks too 'selebet' for my taste does not help either).  I prefer Faizal... but with a contest that relies solely on SMS, what can you expect?

 

---

 

I don't exactly get what the Malaysian papers have been saying about doctors who don't want to further their studies. 

 

Hanya dua orang doktor setahun dihantar berkursus?  Pergi mana?  Overseas?  Don't you count those doing Masters in Malaysia as well?

 

 

 

 

I just read a blog of someone who has started his/her studies in Belfast, and suddenly my eyes are watering.  I miss having a second home.  I don't regret my decision coming home.  I just wish my stay in Belfast had been more colourful.  It is so easy to regret something that has not been done.  And it gets easier to smile at mistakes that one has made; time erases the humiliation.  I wish I registered for the Advanced Mandarin Class; I wish I had stayed in Taekwando although someone kicked me in the rear during sparring and caused shooting pain in my backside everytime I 'rukuk' during prayers for a week.  I want a bit of rock, a bit of rhythm, a bit of soul and a bit of funk.  Instead most of the time I get monotone, and the fault falls onto me.  Isn't that silly, boys and girls?  Like I tell my little sisters, Do what I tell you to do, but don't do what I do.  Get it?

You seem to find the dark when everything is bright
you look for all thats wrong instead of all thats right
does it feel good to you to rain on my parade
you never say a word unless its to complain
its driving me insane

if i were you
holding the world right in my hands
the first thing i'd do
is thank the stars for all that i have
if i were you

look what surrounds you now
more than you ever dreamed
have you forgotten just how hard it used to be
so whats it going to take
for you to realize
it all could go away in one blink of an eye
it happens all the time

if i were you
holding the world right in my hands
the first thing i'd do
is thank the stars above
tell the world i love that i do
if i were you

so whats it going to take
for you to realize
it all could go away in one blink of an eye
it happens all the time

if i were you
holding the world right in my hands
the first thing i'd do
is thank the stars above
for the world i love
take a breath and enjoy the view
live the life that i've wanted to
if i were you

 

(If I Were You - Incubus)

I was already miserable for a few days and thought to myself, "How can this be any worse?"

 

And as Murphy's Law dictates, it did.  I got a reminder letter from my sponsor to heave my ass to SPA as soon as possible. My Banting friends will kindly recall my golekan maut?  I will, I will go, in 2 weeks time... boleh? 

 

By the way, little brats I have for sisters clapped with glee when they were told I will be working soon.  And I am reminded by Syed who exclaimed his surprise when I told him two weeks ago I will (try to) start work after Raya.  Despite thinking his predictions about how I will start my career are bordering on evil, I'm afraid one part has come true.

If you are a tudung-clad young single woman who don't mind paying RM4 for a drink you can get for RM2.50 at a mamak, then go to Hartamas.  You will definitely get the attention of the Malay males down there.  I can't figure out why.  I mean, there are girls down there who dress to the nines... with beautiful hair and short skirts.  Probably the fact that my friend and I are the only tudung-clad girls there explains it all.  Suddenly my mind races back to the time when my ex took me to his college.  His collegemates stared, like, really.  Then my ex whispered to me not to take it seriously, because the college doesn't have too many Malays, let alone a tudung-clad Malay.

 

And you think these things happen only overseas eh?

 

It drives me bonkers when someone has not replied my SMSes.  Please reply if this applies to you.

 

 

One friend asked me why I haven't updated this blog as often as I did before.  I told her I don't really have any stories to tell, which is true. 

 

Another thing was that one aspect of my life has been like a rollercoaster.  One day I would be so deliriously happy I would smile to myself the whole day.  One day I would be so pissed.  So that's why, even if I have updates in my head, I don't feel like it.  Does that happen to you, if you are already in a relationship?  I don't mean to imply that I am in a relationship, because I am not.  But I did realize one thing recently.  My previous serious relationship (some may call it puppy love due to the age factor but considering that I am still single 6 years later, I don't think so) was like driving on a PLUS highway.  Calm.  No surprises.  The highlights may be singing along to a favourite song on the radio, or finding an R&R on the side of the road.  Whilst now, I am already in a rollercoaster screaming my lungs out and wonder if I perhaps come out of the ride shaking at the knees but already lining up for another ride.  Perhaps I shouldn't think too much.  Driving on a PLUS highway, as calm as it seems, didn't end up too well anyway. 

I just watched Konsert Jom Heboh on TV3 and I am so excited on watching OAG.  Rocking while pakai baju melayu... Slumber merdeka y'all!

 

I don't really think people read this blog anyway nowadays, so I don't think I should bother explaining why I haven't updated.  As my youngest sister asked me, "Kenapa kamu ni asyik tidur je, atas sofa pun tidur, dalam bilik pun tidur, kalau tengok kakak mesti tengah tidur."  So, now you know what took up my time these days.  And in case you are wondering, I haven't weighed myself this week out of pure fear haha.  Hey, you have no business wondering about my weight anyway.

 

Aside from having the news of a pop princess's overrated marriage to a businessman 20 years her senior shoved down my throat, I don't think I have much to complain.  In fact, it's a bit scary that when I come home, 'the real world' welcomes me with open arms.  Watching my friends have excellent jobs, have their own mode of transportation and honing the skills of being a KL driver (not that I'm saying it's good...).  Knowing that being 25 is not really that young -- having mat saleh patients commenting that you look less than 20 (compared to 20-year-old mat salehs) is elusive.  And knowing that a couple of friends already had their quarter-life crisis over and done with.. it really makes me think, you know?  I had a bit of thought retrospectively... (see, I actually did something other than sleeping).  And I know I have been too cautious and too safe for the past few years of my life.  So, now, what I want to be is to take more chances, do more crazy things.  And return to one part of my life (which is the most hilarious and adventurous for the time being), when friends describe me as "kalau lurus tu lurus sangat, tapi kalau ada bengkok tu bengkok betul lah!"  But hey, why look back to the past, it's better to look forward to the future kan?  And anyway, to be fair to myself, sometimes I amuse myself by looking at my two passports which pictures were taken at 19 and 25 respectively... and think to myself why I look younger at 25.  Dah pandai melawa kot... :P if you consider that melawa.  I'm the most comot, unkempt and fashionably inept compared to my vogue cousins and... uhmm... my sisters.

 

If you excuse me, I will now return to my bedroom and continue my sleep which was interrupted by a trip to the supermarket with my parents and dinner.  Aaaaaahhhh....

 

 

Seize the moment so the old adage says, and for the moment I am happy.

One evening, my mom was telling my dad about the day she bought a bracelet for me.  BTW I got a RM10 discount from the salesgirl when my mom told her I already graduated and will start off as a doctor.  That's a handy tip if you go shopping ya LOL.  Sigh what people do when they see some prospect of high buying ability.

 

The salesgirl made small talk with me while my mom were looking over the selection of bracelets.  "Itu mak aa?" she asked.  "Ya," I replied.  "You ada darah Cina ka, datuk ka, nenek ka," the salesgirl asked again.  I smiled because I get this a lot, so I said no.

"Betul ka, mesti ada ni, muka you memang macam Cina la."

"Betul, tapi mak saya ada Arab sikit-sikit, kan Ma?" but my mom was busy looking over the bracelets so the salesgirl let it slide.  I related what the salesgirl said to me.  My mom eventually told my dad as the family waited for our tomyam at a Malay restaurant.

 

My dad said, "Lain kali cakaplah, moyang saya Cina."

 

After 25 years of living, now I know why family friends called me Miss Japan when I was a kid, and why people insisted on talking to me in Chinese when I was pre-tudung, and why rowdy Irish teens taunted me in 'Chinese' when I pass by sometimes.  My dad told us about his grandfather (my moyang) who was a big tall man who wore Western clothes and a jacket when he goes to pekan M.  My dad doesn't know if my great-grandfather was a Chinese Chinese or Thai Chinese, but I know that his father was Thai.  Then my mom and dad talked about how many people in their small kampung actually have Chinese lineage. 

 

If I knew this earlier I might give an intelligible answer when people (Malay and Chinese alike... not too sure about Indians) ask me if I am a really pure-bred Malay.  Is there such a thing anyway?

 

(BTW yes CD-key... Abah told us ourselves hehe)

I've just read about the new regulations regarding hand luggage in Heathrow and Gatwick. New regulations regarding hand luggage, which means none is allowed except through a transparent bag.  Liquids, even contact lens solution, is a no-no.

 

To think that I was peeved two weeks ago about having to leave the guitar at the airport.

 

Alhamdulillah.

Whoa Nelly!

 

Just as I am planning to move somewhere else, MSN Spaces has changed to Spaces Live.  So I think I should try it out.

 

Life here is so far so good.  As usual, it is unnerving to see how Malaysians drive.  As usual, it takes me some time to adjust to hootings of lorry drivers.  As usual, I think I have gained a pound or two (already!).  Will puasa tomorrow, promise.

 

Things that are not so usual:

 

1.  I have a new kitten.

2.  Salesgirls actually smile at me. 

3.  I am teaching Agama to my sister who is taking PMR.  Talking about the blind leading the blind.

4  Unwanted attention from boys who are a lot younger. This is a lot more unnerving than lorry drivers, believe me.

 

Two more weeks before I report to my sponsor.  Que sera sera.

This will probably be my last entry in Belfast, as it is too painful to write a blog the day before I go home.

 

This will probably be my last entry in MSN, because its lack of a load of things namely a shout box and ability to plug in videos or even inserting a decent picture in the middle of an entry has been irritating me for some time.

 

I am still packing.  Despite increasing the probable number of clothes and toiletries to throw away, I still doubt the ability of my luggage to hold everything. 

 

I don't know why I don't sleep even when I feel groggy, and even when I pray and my knees are shaking from the lack of rest.  Sometimes I sit in my room, the kitchen, the living room, and stare into space.  Actually my mom pointed this out to me during her visit to UK, followed by my housemate recently.  I guess I'm still in a disbelief.  Probably those in Malaysia will think, big deal, other people haven't been to any other countries and you will remember that if you're not so self-absorbed.  That's true, but I always referred to Belfast as home albeit a second one.  And I'm losing one home.

 

CK told me it will be like a long summer holiday, and I will eventually realize a year has passed.  Maybe that's true. 

 

To all my NI friends, I will probably never see some of you again.  But thanks for all the memories.  Halalkan kalau termakan dan terminum... and if I owe money to some of you, remind me and I'll pay you back... in RM that is...  

If you happen to pass by my house (and some of you will remember where it is), you are welcome to give me a buzz.

 

Cheerio.

Superman best giler!

 

Pegi la tengok.

There are so many things in my head right now, and I'm longing for a person to just pop in the IM to say hi so I can forgo the buzzing in my cranium, but sadly, I have to resort to writing incoherent words in my blog. 

 

Like how I strangely regretted the large helping of chocolate sponge pudding for dessert because it made me and my housemate very easily amused and howl with laughter at mundane stuff.  Why I regret it?  Because now I'm having sugar crash after the sugar rush.

 

Like how I am so loving my hair that survived rebonding nearly a year ago and is still straight(er than normal).  And how pleasantly amazed I am with the new brand of shampoo that I'm using: Head and Shoulders Smooth and Silky.  Yes yes it is anti-dandruff, but I never have thought it would give me the extra boost of bounce and shine I never really had before.  So, the dandruff was a blessing in disguise (Oops too much info...)

 

Like how I realized I eventually did the two things a friend told me to do to look like the trendy clubber chicas... 8 years later.

 

Like how I was surprised to find out that the recurring dream theme I had for weeks stems from a feeling of a void that needs to be filled. 

 

Like how I bought ten NI magnets as souvenirs for my relatives and my close friends today.

 

Like how peeved I was, trying to pack my luggage.  It is still not sorted yet.  Now I know for sure that I am procrastinating.

 

Like how I hate running into married people when I go to chatrooms, and worrying later that if I marry, my future husband will do a mini rendezvous on the net as well.  (I blame the sugar for this particular paranoia)

 

Like how I am craving for KFC for nearly a week... and counting.

 

Like how excited I am to wear my new MNG top this weekend.

 

 

 

 

 

Entah kenapa hari ni serabut sikit. An idle mind is the devil's playground, perhaps. 

 

This song reminds me of a time when I was so pathetic and currently makes me feel more pissed off at myself for having been so pathetic.  It's funny in a way.  To disclose a bit of info, once upon a time there was a guy who wants to know me better, and I was interested, but I played a bit of a mind game.  I had the impression then that he couldn't swallow the probability of rejection, and in the end he comes back into my life and disappears whenever he liked.  Until a time he never contacts me at all.  

 

I was pissed; a man is not a man if he's not persistent, that WAS the idea in my head.

 

Ironically after him came another man whom I didn't really care for in that particular way.  He kept pouncing into my life although I kept pushing him out.  Yes he was persistent; no I was not interested.

 

Lesson learnt:

Padan muka, jual mahal lagi.

 

Dan lagunya ialah...

 

 

Bila saya baca tajuk artikel ini dalam Utusan Online Segmen Kesihatan 20/7/2006, saya terfikir:

 

"Apa kejadahnya orang pregnant boleh terbang pulak ni?"

 

Bila saya baca artikelnya... hmmm.  The title is wrong on at least two different levels.

 

P/s: The paragraph in bold is one reason why at least one person I know never really use the title "Doctor" when they book their flights... hehe.

 

 

 

Hamil: Boleh terbang atau tidak?

Oleh: SHAFINAZ SHEIKH MAZNAN

BERBANDING sedekad lalu, kita kini semakin kerap menggunakan perkhidmatan pengangkutan udara yang kian popular untuk menuju ke destinasi-destinasi jauh.

Ditambah dengan promosi tambang murah membolehkan rakyat yang dahulunya tidak terfikir untuk terbang tinggi di awan, sudah boleh berbuat demikian.

Pendek kata, menaiki kapal terbang menjadi sebahagian daripada kehidupan moden baik bagi tujuan perniagaan, pelancongan, tugasan mahupun kembali bercuti di kampung.

Wanita hamil tidak terkecuali walaupun kadangkala, timbul keraguan tentang keselamatan ibu dan anak dalam kandungan semasa berada pada altitud yang tinggi, tahap kelembapan rendah serta perubahan tekanan udara di dalam kabin pesawat.

Namun, secara peribadinya, apa yang lebih membimbangkan adalah fakta bahawa anda sedang berada di udara selama beberapa jam dan yang mengalas di bawah hanyalah lautan nan terbentang luas.

Dan sekiranya apa-apa berlaku semasa di atas, kemudahan perubatan yang bakal anda terima adalah apa yang tersedia di dalam perut kapal sahaja.

Dan apabila anak kapal terpaksa membuat pengumuman, “Ada doktorkah di dalam penerbangan ini, kita ada kes kecemasan”, sudah tentu ia bukan sesuatu yang menggembirakan. Yang pasti, kapal terbang bukanlah hospital yang bagus untuk bersalin.

Berdasarkan laporan Kolej Obstetrik dan Ginekologi Amerika (ACOG), keadaan persekitaran berkaitan penerbangan boleh menyebabkan peningkatan kadar degupan jantung, tekanan darah tinggi naik dan sukar bernafas bagi ibu-ibu hamil yang lemah sistem kardiovaskularnya.

Dalam kenyataan yang sama, ACOG memberitahu, masa paling selamat untuk terbang adalah apabila kandungan masuk tiga bulan kedua/trimester kedua.

Kebanyakan keguguran berlaku dalam tempoh trimester pertama manakala trimester ketiga membawa risikonya yang tersendiri seperti kelahiran pramatang dan lain-lain komplikasi.

Pakar Runding Obstetrik dan Ginekologi, Hospital Pakar Puteri, Johor Bahru, Johor, Dr. Laila Shikh A. Rahman berkata, umumnya tiada sebarang komplikasi pada ibu atau bayi yang dikandung semasa berada di udara.

“Kecuali jika berlaku perkara-perkara yang tidak dijangka misalnya kelahiran mengejut atau kecemasan obstetrik lain.

“Andai kata berlaku kecemasan seumpamanya, bantuan yang dapat diberikan pada tahap minimum. Ini wajib diketahui oleh semua wanita hamil sebelum mengambil keputusan menaiki pesawat,” katanya.

Menurutnya, dalam kes-kes tertentu penerbangan tidak digalakkan atas sebab-sebab kesihatan bagi mengelakkan komplikasi akibat kelewatan atau ketiadaan bantuan jika berlaku sesuatu yang tidak diingini kerana risikonya terlalu tinggi.

* Kelahiran tidak cukup bulan

Dr. Laila berkata, tiada bukti saintifik yang menyokong bahawa penerbangan meningkatkan risiko keguguran atau kelahiran tidak cukup bulan.

Kalau pun berlaku, ia mungkin kerana si ibu stres jika penerbangan mengambil masa yang lama dan dalam keadaan tidak selesa.

“Berlainan dengan ibu yang hamil lebih daripada seorang janin, mempunyai sejarah kelahiran tidak cukup bulan atau, pintu rahim tidak ketat, risiko melahirkan bayi tidak cukup bulan adalah lebih tinggi sekali pun tidak menaiki pesawat.

“Jika mempunyai rancangan untuk menaiki pesawat, mereka harus mendapatkan pemeriksaan teliti daripada pakar perbidanan dan dicadangkan supaya menerima nasihat doktor dengan serius,” ujar beliau.

Hal ini penting kerana jika kelahiran berlaku di dalam pesawat, bantuan terhadap bayi yang berisiko tinggi ini dapat diminimumkan.

* Fenomena tromboembolisme (VTE)

Keadaan ini menyebabkan darah membeku di dalam salurannya. Jika tidak bernasib baik, darah beku itu kemudiannya beralih tempat ke saluran darah di paru-paru lantas menghalang pengoksigenan.

“Ini boleh membawa kepada kematian mengejut. Fenomena ini pada awalnya lebih kerap berlaku pada wanita Barat berbanding Timur.

“Akibat perubahan gaya hidup, pemakanan dan saiz badan, insidennya diperhatikan meningkat di dalam masyarakat tempatan khususnya pada wanita hamil berbadan besar,” jelas Dr. Laila.

Di United Kingdom, fenomena ini digelar Sindrom Kelas Ekonomi berikutan berlakunya beberapa kes yang melibatkan kematian mendadak wanita muda yang menaiki pesawat kelas ekonomi dari perjalanan jauh, melebihi 18 jam.

“Semasa di dalam pesawat terutamanya bagi perjalanan jauh, sangat perlu untuk anda bergerak dari tempat duduk dari semasa ke semasa.

“Minum air yang mencukupi. Jika perjalanan terlalu jauh, penggunaan stoking ketat khas dapat membantu mengurangkan risiko VTE.”

Bagi wanita hamil yang pernah mengalami VTE, ada waris terdekat yang mempunyai masalah sama atau mempunyai berat badan berlebihan, pemeriksaan kesihatan yang teliti adalah sangat mustahak sebelum perjalanan.

Ubat-ubat tertentu mungkin dapat membantu mengurangkan risiko ini.

* Kekurangan oksigen pada altitud tinggi

Semakin tinggi kedudukan seseorang dari paras laut (altitud), semakin rendah tekanan separa oksigen. Bagaimanapun, bagi penerbangan komersil, altitud penerbangan lazimnya hanya memberi perbezaan tekanan separa oksigen yang kecil.

Hal ini, kata Dr. Laila, biasanya tidak memudaratkan bayi di dalam kandungan kerana mereka dianugerahkan sistem pertahanan yang dapat menahan perubahan tekanan separa oksigen yang tidak keterlaluan.

“Bagaimanapun, perbezaan kecil ini boleh memberikan kesan negatif terhadap bayi yang dikandung oleh ibu anemia dan dinasihat mendapatkan rawatan terlebih dahulu.

“Jika perjalanan tidak dapat dielakkan sebelum anemia dapat dirawat, ibu ini perlu mendapatkan bekalan oksigen dalam perjalanan,” katanya.

Bagi pesakit sel sikel (jarang berlaku di Malaysia), adalah lebih baik jika perjalanan dapat dielakkan kerana krisis penyakit ini lebih mudah berlaku pada altitud tinggi.

Jika tidak, bekalan oksigen semasa perjalanan mungkin dapat membantu mengurangkan risiko komplikasi.

* Kemalangan di dalam pesawat

Tali pinggang keselamatan di dalam pesawat harus dipakai di bawah perut supaya jika terdapat sebarang pergerakan mendadak, bahagian tulang pelvis yang akan menyerap impak tersebut dan bukannya bahagian bertentangan rahim.

Sekali gus, ini dapat mengurangkan risiko uri terpisah awal dari kawasan tempelannya pada rahim ataupun kebocoran rahim. Kedua-dua insidens ini boleh menyebabkan kematian ibu dan bayi.

* Kecemasan obstetrik

Satu perkara yang mesti diketahui, kata Dr. Laila, kehamilan risiko rendah boleh berubah menjadi berisiko tinggi pada bila-bila masa dan ada kalanya di luar jangkaan.

“Seseorang ibu boleh dengan tiba-tiba terasa hendak bersalin dan melahirkan bayi dalam waktu yang singkat walaupun sebelum itu keadaannya adalah normal. Begitu juga dengan komplikasi-komplikasi kehamilan lain yang boleh berlaku secara mendadak.

“Syarikat penerbangan tidak mempunyai perkhidmatan kesihatan yang mencukupi di udara walaupun kemudahan asas seperti oksigen dan cecair aliran vena ada disediakan,” tambahnya.

Oleh itu, wanita hamil harus bersedia secara mental untuk menghadapi risiko sekiranya berlaku perkara yang tidak dijangkakan semasa di dalam penerbangan.

Perjalanan menaiki pesawat semasa hamil adalah selamat apabila seseorang wanita itu berpengetahuan tentang risikonya dan mengambil langkah-langkah wajar sebelum dan semasa perjalanan.

“Wanita-wanita hamil yang berisiko tinggi harus sedar akan bahaya yang mungkin dihadapi dan dapat menimbangkan sama ada risiko yang diambil benar-benar berbaloi.

“Adalah lebih baik jika perjalanan ini dapat dielakkan. Mematuhi nasihat doktor adalah sangat perlu dan mustahak di dalam konteks ini,” tegas Dr. Laila.

 

When one has to munch on stale popcorn just to keep awake (and watch Johnny Depp), what can you expect?

 

The first one is MUCH MUCH better.  But watch the second for the craic/crack (however they spell it here).  The movie will be far far better if it is not too serious... and if I understand what the story is all about.  You lost me at hello, man.  Layan movie Korea lagi bagus.